I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
