I cockslap morals
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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