That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
