We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you would pick up someone in the library
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
