have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
