I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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