You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
nutella sex= disaster
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
