Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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