Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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