you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
