I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
