What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you never un-have a 4some
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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