you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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