I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
