So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we're making bets on your personal life
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize