I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
