And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
