Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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