But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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