in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
