u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
