oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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