When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
