The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
MIDGETS
????
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
