I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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