Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
