The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
