she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
