Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
