i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
