We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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