I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
