My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
