If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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