If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
bring money and cleavage
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
