hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
