This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
