Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
