I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
