She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
