she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize