When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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