addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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