does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
