TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
