i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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