There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
