they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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