What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
