I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
