Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
